


His golden boys

by peachggu



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 1960s, Acid, Alternate Universe - 1960s, Blasphemy, Cults, Daddy Issues, Drug Use, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Smut, LSD, M/M, Manipulation, Murder, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, chan is a cult leader, felix just wants to be loved, im sorry chan, not beta read we die like men, southern minho!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:22:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28991379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachggu/pseuds/peachggu
Summary: Lee Felix has only ever wanted to be loved.So when a bright eyed bleach blonde traveler crosses his path and offers him the world, he doesn’t think twice.What a mistake that was.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Everyone, Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han, Bang Chan/Hwang Hyunjin, Bang Chan/Kim Seungmin, Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Bang Chan/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	1. Before his mistakes

Felix was lonely.  
Ever since he had enrolled at his local university, his life has been nothing short of busy. Between juggling classes, 2 part-time jobs, and trying to piece together his AP portfolio before the end of the semester, Felix never could find the time to go out and meet people. It seemed like the only person he really knew was his roommate, jisung. And as of recently, Felix couldn’t find time to spend with him either. Because any time Felix had after class was spent either working, or in the art studio trying to finish up his portfolio before the semester deadline.  
He really wanted to spend more time with his roommate, he really did. Yet, any spare time Felix had to himself, Jisung was always off doing other things.  
It was almost like they were unintentionally avoiding each other. On a normal day, Felix would come home when Jisung was asleep, and Jisung would leave for his morning classes before Felix could even think about waking up. It had been this way for almost a month, until it finally snowed. The worst blizzard of the year had hit the night before.  
Which meant all classes on campus were cancelled, and all local business in the surrounding area were forced to shut down for the day.  
It was the 2nd heaviest blizzard they’ve had throughout the continuing decade. The worst being in 1962 when Felix was in high school. that meant a day off for Felix.  
He’d never thought that he’d find such joy in a simple cup of coffee and children’s cartoons, but here he was. Perfectly snuggled up into the couch with his warm vanilla coffee in hand, and the gentle nostalgia of Tom and Jerry playing in the background.  
Felix felt so content in that moment, it was like his stress was melting away, and his worries were retreating. It was a magical feeling, and he was so immersed in it that he almost didn’t notice the gentle sinking of the cushions next to him. 

“you really made coffee for yourself, but didn’t even think to get me a cup?” a voice questioned from his left, slowly looking over to see none other than his roommate han Jisung. Hair messier than a rat’s nest, no shirt, and pajama pants slightly sliding off his hips revealing a small bit of his baby blue boxers. 

“I made a full pot,” felix chuckled, gently bringing the coffee mug to his rosy lips, and slowly taking a sip of his morning brew. “Maybe if you weren’t so lazy you’d check yourself.” 

“Well why would i do that?” the other asked, “I’m not just going to make my own cup of coffee, what am i? a baboon?” 

“Yes.” felix chuckled, letting that simple sentence fall past his plush lips.

it was a simple sentence really, yet the contents of it made jisung go ballistic. and somehow someway, the taller boy just ended up going to get himself coffee anyways. 

Jisung reminded Felix of a small child. Very whiney and needy, but also extremely affectionate and sometimes cute. It was almost like Felix was living with his smaller sister all over again. He just seemed so small, so fragile.

if only Felix knew.

—

“Hey Felix!” Jisung yelled from his room, interrupting Felix’s poor attempt at making dinner. 

with a sigh Felix took his eyes off the pot of water and quickly walked to the boy’s room. Pushing open the door with a bit difficulty, considering how much junk was piled on the other side. 

It took one peek into Jisung’s room for Felix to gag. I reeked of foot fungus and pizza grease in the other man’s room.  
It was like a borderline hoarder lived in there, with dirty clothes plied in every spot, text books, stray sheets of notebook paper, and empty water bottles as well as food containers laid piled on his desk and nightstand. 

“Oh my god. Jisung, this place is a pigsty!” Felix squealed, finally making eye contact with the the owner of the junkyard. “How the hell do you live here?”

Jisung just sat back on his bed, eyes narrowed at the male. “You didn’t have to come in ya know?” the boy responded, crossing his arms over his chest, clearly irritated at the other’s unnecessary comments. “And I didn’t call you to ask for your opinion about my room, i asked you to come here because i wanted to ask you something.” 

“okay, what is it?” Felix asked, body still stuck in the doorway. His nose already starting to get accustomed to the smell that is Jisung. 

“Well, Minho and I we’re going to go out tomorrow night, and Minho wanted to know if your candyass wanted to come along.” the other said, his tone coming off rather annoyed. Jisung knew Felix was going to say no. He didn’t even feel the need to ask, yet his boyfriend seemed adamant about asking Felix to come along.  
It wouldn’t be an enjoyable evening for Jisung or Felix. considering that Felix would be third-wheeling with Jisung and Minho. There’s also the fact that Felix cannot stand when Jisung and Minho are publicly affectionate. It makes him sick, it makes his stomach churn. Felix would rather get hit by a bus than see Jisung and Minho kiss. It was absolutely disgusting to Felix.

Felix had always despised their relationship from the very beginning. Not because they were bad for each other. no. They were the complete opposite in fact. Whenever they’re around one another they instantly become one. They become attached to the hip as soon as they lock eyes with one another. Touching, kissing, snuggling, that’s all they would do together. Sadly for Felix though, their main spot to stay was in his shared apartment. And almost every time they would cuddle on Felix’s living space, leave lingering kisses on each other, or share a disgusting loving gaze, he would gag. It was like he was suffocating on the aura of their love which he couldn’t even escape from. Not even in the comfort of his own room. Because somehow, the sloshing of their lips, or the hums of their love seemed to always make their way into Felix’s room. 

They were a gross nuisance in Felix’s life, like the gross cockroaches that liked to hang out in their dumpster, they were utterly disgusting together. 

Thats why it surprised Felix when he said the simple word “yes.”. It was like his body spoke before his mind, too used to his normal routine. Felix knew he had lost spice in his life, and Jisung did too.  
They both knew he needed this.  
The only disappointment coming from this situation though, is just the simple fact that Jisung doesn’t want Felix around Minho, and Felix doesn’t wanna be around either of them. 

Yet, his words were final, and Jisung couldn’t defy Minho. 

“Minho is picking us up at 8:30, be ready or we’re leaving you here.” Jisung huffed, before he scrambled to his landline to call Minho. 

Felix just watched him fumble a bit to reach the rotary before leaving. Returning back to his now boiling pot of water, with a heavy head and dreadful heart.

-

Felix thinks about dying, a lot. He’s not quite sure what makes him think this way, but he knows it stems from the long line of neglect that was his childhood.

Felix knew he wasn’t the favorite child. Both his mother and father valued their two daughters more than him. In every family picture it was obvious to see that he was just the baggage to some poor family. Even his own mother rarely ever expressed love for him. It was only when he would ask that they would tell him he was loved, even though they never ever showed it like they did to his sisters. 

Felix stopped chasing rainbows long ago. He knew he would never get love from his parents, and he’s been able to accept that truth for years now. 

But that still doesn’t stop him from wondering about what could’ve been, or what could never have been. 

And now that these thoughts have invaded his mind he won’t be able to sleep tonight, as he lie awake in his bed bathing in the moon’s light thinking about his life and what led him to this.  
-

It was around 7 o’clock PM when Felix finally started to get ready for the night. Minho was picking him and Jisung up in an hour and a half, which was just enough time for Felix to put in effort, but not too much effort.  
He kept it simple. Cuffed blue jeans with a blue, tan, and maroon crewneck sweater that used to be his father’s in the early 50’s.  
He still has the pictures of his father with that exact same shirt on, holding his older sister during her first Christmas.  
That was one of the pictures he kept away from his line of sight. Locked away with a ton of his other family photos, in a cardboard box deep within his closet.  
Because if it was out of sight, it was out of mind.  
It was like the shirt was his own. 

in Felix’s memories he could never see that shirt. His father had most likely stopped wearing it due to his growing beer belly that began developing in his elder sister’s toddler years. So when Felix was born the sweater was already discarded to the far back of his parents closet. 

He was never reminded of his father when he wore it, and he’d like to keep it that way.

-  
At exactly 8:30 Felix heard a knock on the door while he was still combing his umber colored hair in the bathroom. He could hear the click of the door as well as footsteps and quiet murmurs.  
He quickly finished up, and ran his comb under the tap before walking out of the bathroom. 

His feet sunk further and further into the green carpet as he walked father into the hall, finally stopping at the living room where he saw Jisung and Minho sharing a loving kiss. 

“Ugh! get a fucking room!” the youngest shouted, causing the two love birds to instantly pull apart. a frown only apparent on one man’s face. 

“Felix!” Minho exclaimed as he made his way over to him. Giving the younger one of the warmest hugs he’s ever received. “How’s my favorite freckled foe doin?” Minho said, his southern dialect still very present in his speech, because even after all these years it seems Minho never really left his backwoods town of southern Mississippi. 

“ah just the usual,” Felix responded, “working, going to university, trying to get Jisung to make his own coffee in the morning.” Minho giggled at that, taking his right arm and swinging it around Jisung’s waist all while giving him the wettest kiss on the cheek.

“You mean my baby hadn’t learn to make his own coffee?” Minho’s smile had soon began to morph into one of his signature smirks, “Well ain’t that ashame? I’m sorry you gotta take care of my baby, Felix. He’s a real piece of work ain’t he?” Minho said, which earned him a elbow to the ribs from Jisung. 

He look mad, like he wanted to kick Minho for saying such a thing, and Felix wanted to fuel the fire.

“Yeah he is. He won’t make his own coffee, he pees all over the toilet seat, and worst of all your boyfriend is a hoarder, Minho.” Felix said with a smile, all while Minho looked back in shock.

“Jisung,” Minho called, now facing his lover. “Is this true, pumpkin? Because if it is you’re gonna have come an live with me so i can whoop you into shape, baby.” 

Jisung just glared back. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Farmer Brown.” 

Yeah Felix definitely wasn’t going to survive the night.


	2. Maraschino cherries & The comfort of No.7

It took fifteen minutes of sitting in the backseat of Minho’s 1957 Plymouth Fury for Felix to realize: he had no idea where he was going. Even when the familiar buildings came passing by he still couldn’t figure out where he was going, where Minho was taking him. It was like he was being kidnapped, even though he obviously wasn’t, yet the nervousness still sat dead in the pit of his stomach, clawing at the mucus lining, just waiting for it to pop like a balloon and spill acid all over his internal organs. Felix wouldn’t let it though. He opted for taking his anxiety out on Minho’s white leather seats, taking his sharp pinky nail and dragging it across the textured material, over, and over again. 

“Felix? Minho called from the driver’s seat, causing the freckled boy to snap out of his anxiety-induced trance, “You tryna carve your name in my seat or what, boy?”  
Felix had finally realized his actions once Minho had address them, looking down to see multiple faint scratch lines in the leather. 

“Oh Minho, I’m sorry.” He apologized, actually feeling terrible, even though Minho’s words had no real anger or sadness to them. “I didn’t even notice I’m-“

“Oh hush Felix, its fine. As long as you can’t see the yellow cushion I really don’t give two shits.” Minho said, peering at him through the rear-view mirror. Felix had always worn his anxiety, and Minho had clearly noticed it all over the freckled boy’s face. “So, what’s got you so worked up, Felix?” Minho asked, “It’s clear there is somethin’ floatin’ in your mind.” 

“Well I kind of get nervous when i don’t know where i’m going.” He confessed, quickly exchanging the seat scratching for thumb twiddling.  
Jisung never told him where they were going or if they were visiting someone. Jisung had know for the longest time that these things spike Felix’s anxiety. Felix needs to know where he is at all times. 

“Oh? Jisung didn’t mention it?.” Minho asked from the drivers seat, eyes now fixated on the road instead of the freckled boy. 

“What! I could’ve sworn I told you yesterday, lix.” Jisung chimed in, now turned and facing Felix from the passenger seat. 

“Well you didn’t.” 

“I’m pretty sure i did.” 

“no you fucking didn’t, Jisung.” 

“Okay, Okay that’s enough yappin’ from you two.” Minho groaned as he flicked his turn signal and pulled into a half full parking lot. “Im bout tired of you two agruin’ all the time. It doesn’t matter who told who what cause we’re here now.” he said, finally pulling into an empty parking space.  
and the simple view of the almost dilapidated building, that could be seen through the backseat window caused sparks to fly in the back of Felix’s mind.  
He knew exactly where he was.  
-  
Felix had not been to a bar in almost two months. Between school and work, drinking wasn’t really on his mind a lot. Sure the occasional case of liquor Jisung brought home was enough to satisfy his needs, but he hates to admit, he missed this.

Felix loved the atmosphere of bars, they gave him a weird sense of peace, a sense of home. Even after all the bar fights he’s seen, the horrors of drunken blood, he still felt alive in there. 

Maybe it was the friendly bartenders who told stories from their grandparents who lived during prohibition, or the overly friendly drunk who always told Felix the wildest tales. It was just a different pace from every day life, and he enjoyed it.

He took in every second he sat at the dirty old bar. Taking unnecessarily long sips from his Whiskey sour just to stay in the moment. soaking up the gentle hum of music that spun from the rusty jukebox. Alone with his thoughts as his friends danced together without him. Another lonely patron at the bar. Nobody Even the bartender didn’t attempt to make conversation, eyes dull and lost of light, the poor lad looked as if he hated his life more than Felix hated his own. It was going to be a long night, not only for him, but for everyone, because no amount of liquor could pick up the pieces of a shattered man, but that doesn’t stop what’s left of them from trying.  
Felix knows this all too well, and the little confidence left behind is what signals the bartender over, what orders him another drink, what blocks his friends out from his world, and most importantly, what makes him feel safe. 

So lost in his world, it was like nothing could break him out, and luckily for Felix nothing tried. Not even the gloomy bartender who gently placed another whiskey sour on the chipped oak tried to wake him.  
Guess he didn’t get paid enough to deal with other peoples problems. 

Seconds, minutes, hours even, seemed to pass as Felix floated in his own mind. Not paradise per se, but It was somewhere Felix could go when he didn’t want to live in the outside world. 

Sadly though, Han Jisung was always there to pull him back into reality, and tonight was no exception. 

“Felix! Felix!” he said, shaking the freckled boy, desperately trying to pull him back into reality to spew on about whatever he wanted. 

Slowly Felix’s security was pried from his cold hands. Quickly snapping back to reality, Felix eyes meeting the glossy orbs of none other than Han Jisung. Tightly clutching his right bicep between his frail hands, and still shaking Felix with all his might. 

“Jisung, oh my god what!?!” he groaned as the puffy cheeked boy slowly stopped shaking him. 

“Minho wants you to dance with us!” he whined, very obviously tipsy from whatever liquor he managed to ingest while Felix was away. 

“Jisung, you and Minho both know I don’t dance.” Felix stated, grabbing the new glass of whiskey sour the bartender had left for him, and quickly taking a savory swig. Swallowing down the feel good liquor that finally gave him the courage to look back at the tipsy boy. Eyes wet and shiny, soft flushed cheeks, and a small pout, Jisung wore this armor to break Felix. Because when alcohol was introduced into the equation, Jisung becomes a whiny, persistent little shit. 

“B-But Minho was gonna put a quarter in the Jukebox...3 songs for 25 cents.” he cried, “I already have Chubby Checker, and Sam Cooke lined up.” Felix laughed at that.

“Let me guess,” smirked “You picked them both only because you want to do the Twist.” 

Jisung let out a very audible gasp at the other’s statement.  
“How did you know!” he squealed like he hadn’t been caught multiple times by his roommate dancing to Twistn’ the night away by Sam Cooke. 

“Just a lucky guess.” Felix replied, reaching for his glass of liquor until a sudden presence appears to his left, frozen in place Felix slowly tilts his head slightly to the left, only to be greeted by Lee Minho in all his glory. Flashing Felix with one of his genuine smiles. 

“Why are ya’ sittin’ here all by yourself, Lix?” Minho asked, grabbing Felix’s Whisky glass and taking a sip from it.  
“I know you ain’t havin’ any fun at this ol’ barstool.” 

“What do you know Minho,” Felix chuckled, “I was actually having a pretty great time by myself until you backwashed my liquor.” Minho let out a laugh at that. 

“Yeah Minho, you just contaminated his drink with your stinky breath.” Jisung chimed in, softly giggling to himself at his snarky remark. 

“Oh yeah?” Minho replied, glaring at the tipsy male. “I guess if my breath smells so bad you won’t have to worry about me kissin’ you anymore.” 

Oh god, Jisung looked like he was ready to cry right then and there after Minho’s obviously sarcastic comment. It was like all the alcohol hit him at once, and once Jisung gets drunk there is always a chance he will become overly emotional. 

Guess the cards didn’t play in Felix’s favor. 

Quickly thinking of a distraction, Felix automatically shot up from his rickety bar stool, catching both Jisung and Minho off guard. 

“Hey Minho, what about that jukebox? You’re forking over the quarter right?” He questioned quickly dragging Minho and Jisung over to the jukebox, trying to dodge all possible altercations that could stem from the liquor they consumed. Because the last time an emotional Jisung had an outburst at the wrong bar, on the wrong side of town, it did not end well. 

Luckily this wasn’t going to pan out like that night, Felix was here and coherent enough to make sure of it. 

Because as long as Felix was here, tonight would remain empty of bar fights, empty of wounds to clean, and empty of used tissues, because he’ll be damned if he was drying anyone’s tears tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for all the hits and kudos! i really appreciate them<3 and remember y’all feedback is always welcome!!


	3. The Monster And The Mug

Felix doesn’t believe in monsters. You know, your typical hair-filled beast, with yellow-stained razors for teeth and mini daggers for nails. These monsters don’t exist in Felix’s world because they are purely fictional. 

However, monsters do exist. 

They are everywhere. They aren’t matted carnivorous beasts who hide under children’s beds, no. These monsters are people. Monsters that could be disguised as anyone, your friends, your neighbors, even your own mother. Surviving off of the weak and vulnerable, feasting on the pure gullible nature of the organism. The power of deception is mighty, and these beasts that exist within the world use that power to take advantage of the weak blood. 

Its those monsters, those people, that remind Felix of doughnuts and mildew on a Sunday morning. They remind him not of happier times, but of miserable ones. Where his parents would keep him in bible study for hours as a child, forcing him to listen to the same mole-infested elderly woman every Sunday for hours on end. Telling the same story of Adam and Eve, and how Eve was deceived by the devil. Eating the fruit she was forbidden to, causing both her and Adam to be cast out of the Garden of Eden. Left to an eternity without the garden of god. 

And sometimes, Felix felt like he was doomed to carry out their eternity as well. Because even though Felix wasn’t religious anymore, he still had the suspicion, and with every second that passes he feels even closer to his ultimate demise. 

Now, being in a bar with your friends and a few mixed whiskey drinks isn’t necessarily a punishment, but watching a drunk Jisung do the twist is. 

Watching the boy move his tiny waist back and forth, arms going everywhere instead of being tucked back into his torso, and not to mention his feet, oh his feet. 

Drunk people should not be permitted to walk, drive, or basically anything other than sleeping and vomiting into the commode. And Jisung isn’t exempt from this rule.

Such a whiny, bratty, manipulative piece of shit who never remembers the puppy eyes that were given the night before. Claiming that he “blacked out.” when he only had 6 shots of vodka. And yes, Jisung did have a low alcohol tolerance, mainly due to his alcohol inexperience and petite figure, but only six shots of vodka was not enough make someone black out drunk, especially not Jisung. Claiming that he blacked out was just an excuse he used to avoid facing the consequences of his drunken actions, and in Felix’s opinion, he’s gotten away with it for too long. 

The thing is though, Jisung only repeats his actions when reinforcements are not given, and Minho is the biggest enabler on this planet. So overly smitten with his boyfriend to scold him, Minho lets Jisung continue this behavior. Because as Minho says: “I do not need to raise my lil petal, he is a fully grown man who can make decisions for emself’. I’ll be damned if I’m raisin’ a boyfriend.” 

Yeah, Felix disagrees. Scowling at the southern man as he rests against the jukebox, watching his partner drunkenly dance to the twist. No drink in hand, because Minho didn’t drink unless it was a special occasion. Apparently tonight was not. 

“You know Lix, you’d have a lot more fun if ya wasn’t standin’ there with a frown on your freckled face.” The older man called from his place at the Jukebox, attention now focused on Felix instead of his drunk boyfriend. “Get out there and dance or somethin’.” he said, motioning to the middle of establishment, where multiple chairs and tables have been cleared to make a makeshift dance floor for the sober and drunk patrons who just wanted some good old fashioned fun. “Or are you waitin’ for that good ol’ number seven to hit ya system?” 

Felix just rolled his eyes at that. 

“You know, for someone who is almost always sober you aren’t very observant.” Felix replied, focused more on stirring his drink with a cheap plastic straw than Minho’s puzzled gaze “I believe you of all people should know that i don’t dance. Drunk or sober you will not catch me shaking my hips for the public eye.” 

“Why is that you say?” 

This question had not been conjured from Minho’s mouth, instead this question had originated from Felix’s right, whereas Minho sat on his left.  
Shockingly, this realization had Felix quickly removing his strong gaze from the glass of liquor and moving it to the source of the foreign voice. 

Looking back now, Felix wished he had just ignored that question. Because meeting the gaze of the stranger was the most intense situation that Felix had ever experienced. 

He had not expected to turn and see a lone man sitting at one of the small tables that lined the shoulder of the dance floor. This man looked at Felix with passion, his brown orbs piercing through him like a knife while the rest of him was softer than butter. The stranger had been sporting bleach blonde curls with a plain white T-shirt, as well as a charming touch of blue denim. 

Felix could not deny this man was very handsome. His nose prominent, his lips: full and slightly chapped, and his eyes, oh those eyes. 

“I’m not someone who finds joy in all areas of art.” Felix states lowly, shyness filling his system as soon as his brain catches up to reality. “I’m more of a painting man, I find joy in using a stiff brush and the putrid smell of turpentine rather than my body.” 

“I can tell.” the man responds, quickly taking a swig of his craft beer that sat neatly tucked in his right hand. Swallowing the liquid that personally offended the freckled man. “You don’t seem like you enjoy much in life.” 

“Now what is that supposed to mean?” Felix questions, obviously offended by the man’s hurtful statement. Even though it was a factual one, who was this man to tell Felix how bleak his life was? 

“Well, uh?..”

“Felix.”

“Right, Felix,” the blonde began. “I’ve been watching you, and you don’t seem like you’re having a fun time.” he grinned, bringing his pint back up to his plush pink lips to take another sip of (what Felix could only assume) his favored putrid substance. 

Felix just grimaces as the man swallows down the beer. Thinking about how the man had been watching him, probably ever since he arrived. Sipping down his bubbled hops as he observed Felix’s figure when he sat alone at the bar. 

“So, you’ve been watching me?” Felix began, “How creepy.” 

“Well, lets just say no one here caught my attention quite like you, Felix.” The man responded. “I’m Christopher by the way, but you can just call me Chris.” 

“Hmm...Chris.” Felix repeated softly, trying the name out on his tongue for the first time. Enjoying the was the name had rolled off his tongue, two syllables that already felt so right. “I like the name, Chris. You don’t seem so boring yourself, I guess you’ve captured my attention as well, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a lot shorter than I wanted it to be. Also i got really lazy and unmotivated,, so this chapter may be boring and have a lot of typos but its 2 am and i have no motivation to add or fix rn. With all that said though, thank you for reading this far! remember: feedback is always welcome !! <3 <3


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